Kendall is an educator in the public schools, just finished seminary, and is an avid lover of books, nature, and long walks. She is easily distracted by thunderstorms and loves a good conversation over coffee.
I’ve written before that I identify as an Enneagram 6. For those of you who are not familiar with the Enneagram, 6’s find themselves smack dab in the middle of the head triad. (There is also a heart triad and a gut triad) These triads recognize the ways that different people tend to process the world and make decisions. As a six, I love to gather information by reading voraciously, watching documentaries (who needs RomComs when you can learn about the Bubonic Plague?), and also find great comfort living in my head. I think thoughts, plan out my life, plan out the lives of everyone around me, and generally consider each and every possible future circumstance so that I can avoid pain and suffering. As you can imagine, I am a delightful wife and mother.
Being in the head triad, I tend to focus on and process most information through thinking. Not feeling, not doing—thinking. This has its advantages, for sure! And as any triad does, it also has its challenges.
One of the challenges I have noticed in recent years is how my spiritual life can remain a thought exercise. For example, I started regularly reading my Bible when I received a new one that smelled like leather and had my name embossed on it in gold letters. I was an 8th grader. Thanks to amazing Sunday School teachers, camp leaders, and parents, I knew that an important piece of any Christian’s life was to immerse myself in Scripture. This is how we come to know God and Jesus and all the things. For decades now, literally decades—I have immersed myself in Scripture. And I love it! It’s part of the reason I decided to go to seminary—because of this love of Scripture.
One winter, however, I realized that I was overloading my head with information, leaving little room for any kind of other spiritual expression or experience. I decided to try music as a spiritual practice, as something I could feel and engage with my heart more than my head. And for that season, it was a wise choice! It opened up other ways to experience God’s presence for me than simply reading the Bible. (To be honest, I was also reading seminary work plus a book on Romans, so yeah….overload!)
This summer I have come to another point where I have needed something else. My “norm” is to sit in a chair by the window in the early mornings and enjoy the view while drinking coffee, reading, journaling, etc. My stack of books that I’m currently reading through in the mornings is reaching double digits! But I’m also experiencing a bit of a dry period spiritually. You know, not the vibrant, close experience I’ve had in the past. Turns out, I can’t think my way to experiencing the nearness of God.
Rather than sit inside for my morning time, I decided to move outside this past week. We have beautiful spaces to enjoy the early morning—why was I holed up inside? So I’ve been enjoying my coffee outside, listening to the birds, contemplating clouds, and pondering the noises of the early morning. The mourning dove’s coo is my favorite. Here’s what I’ve noticed: I have felt in my body a settling, an assurance, a nearness, a wonder—being outside. It is an embodied experience, one that can’t simply exist in my head. And my knowing God becomes richer as I sit in the middle of this glorious creation. Each one of my five senses comes alive as I experience the morning’s happenings. This is so much more expansive than simply reading!
But what about the Bible? Shouldn’t it hold all of the answers we need? While in seminary, we learned of Karl Barth who believed that Scripture is God’s Word only when God speaks through Scripture, or when we encounter God’s Spirit in scripture. It is not magical incantations. The verses do not hold power apart from the God who inspired humans to write, to wrestle, and to witness to God’s work in our world.
Further, I have worked with individuals in the past who struggle with their idea of God, with the expectation that they read the Bible, who are working through trauma related to church or spirituality. And, although Scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching and instructing,…it can also be hard to experience the Goodness of God only through our heads. It can be hard to find God in the Scriptures when they’ve been used to abuse, to submit, to be quiet, to obey. These passages that are supposed to give life can also be excruciatingly painful.
I have advised some to pause their Scripture reading for a season and seek other ways of experiencing God’s Presence. CS Lewis makes a similar point in his book Miracles, and he quotes the Psalm, “Taste and See that the Lord is good,” as instruction go and experience God’s goodness in the world. More recently, Janyne McConnaughey writes about Trauma Informed Spiritual Practices and notes that “the paths to joy for those impacted by trauma seldom fit the images of traditional spiritual practices”.* If this resonates with you: if you are struggling to feel the nearness of God and are reading Scripture or doing other spiritual practices (serving at church, praying, engaging in corporate worship) and still feeling empty and dry—I’d encourage you to find other ways of engaging with our Good and Beautiful Creator.
So, back to my original question: When should we stop reading our Bible? Or maybe a better way to ask the question is, “are there times when other methods are more helpful?” My opinion is yes. At least for a season. Sometimes the words of Scripture can become dull, triggering (depending on your experiences), confusing, or downright offensive. I have experienced all of these! And there is a difference between something being offensive because we are in the wrong, and being offensive because of how it’s been erroneously taught to us. Tyler and I are all for wrestling with Scripture. We’re allowed to do that!
But sometimes the most helpful thing is to take a break, and experience the Spirit of God working in other ways. If the God who inspired our Scriptures is the same God who also created the world—the entire cosmos!—then we can expect that God is working through every growing tree, every cooing bird, every blowing wind, every building thunderstorm. God’s Spirit is in all. May we experience that more fully this week!
*The book I referenced above is Trauma in the Pews by Janyne McConnaughey. It is an excellent read for church members and church leaders alike.