Kendall Smith, No-Div
Kendall is an elementary science teacher and an avid lover of books, nature, and long walks. She is easily distracted by thunderstorms and loves a good conversation over coffee.
I guess you could say that I have a love/hate relationship with The Church. Not a specific church...but The-Capital-C-Church. The one that is made up of all the churches and all of the Christians. I love The Church because it has been my home for all of my 40 years. I have been raised within its walls in many ways as the daughter of a pastor--and I’ve found so many people who have lovingly poured their wisdom and love into my life. I’ve found purpose and joy and friendship and wisdom within its walls, too--no matter the congregation, no matter the community. It can be a beautiful place of healing and worship.
But sometimes it’s not. If you’ve ever been a part of a church, you might know this. Sometimes churches are places where we experience frustration, relational conflict, burn-out, and in some cases, deep hurt. This is the truth that absolutely breaks my heart, and yet--since I’m a part of the Church, I’m equally part of the problem. The older I get, the more I hear these stories. I can’t even count how many times I’ve listened as a friend or an acquaintance has shared how they used to sit in the pews of their church, wondering if anyone around them was struggling like they were, plagued by questions and doubt with no way to ask or find good answers. Or maybe they did work up the courage to ask and were soundly shamed for “asking questions”, for “doubting God”, or for “not having enough faith”. You’ve probably heard stories of young adults who walk away from the church as soon as they can, unable to reconcile the world they find outside the walls of the church with the people and teachings they’ve encountered within. And if you’ve lived more than a few years and have been to a church, there’s a chance you’ve felt this same frustration.
If this describes you, then please know that you are the reason that Tyler and I write. And honestly, we’re writing to ourselves, to remind ourselves what is true: That God is not scared or offended by our big questions. If we watch Jesus and see how he treated people like us (those with doubts, questions, a desire to understand more) we notice that Jesus was lovingly gentle with them and even praised their faith. Did you hear that? Jesus didn’t turn away those who asked questions, who admitted they didn’t know the right answers yet, who were persistent in their need to understand, or who asked for more faith to believe. He moved towards them, revealing more of his Love, and told them they had great faith!
This is the part of the post where normally, I would tie it up with a neat, simple answer--or at least an anecdote that might be true and encouraging. But here’s the problem: I don’t even know what to say anymore. Because Jesus is the True King of a beautiful, eternal Kingdom--I have tremendous hope that He is working in the world. I see evidence of His Spirit moving all the time. But the Church in America? Right now, she’s working through a tough stage. Like a teenager--unsure of her identity, dealing with lots of internal conflict and angst--the Church is finding its way through a culture and time where things are changing, unsure of how to engage.
The Church will never be a perfect entity, or institution. It never has been. (Nope, not even in the book of Acts.) It has been reformed time and again and continues to slip away from what God calls it to be. Perhaps it is time for another reform. And if you relate with this post, maybe that isn’t an accident. Perhaps it is providential.
Maybe you are exactly what the Church needs. Maybe your questions are precisely what the Church needs to hear. My sense is that the Church has moved away from so many of the people that it is supposed to be connecting with that it exists in a bubble of its own making. And it really doesn’t know what life is like outside that bubble. So maybe it is up to us to move towards the Church. To bring your questions, and not to settle for weak answers. To bring your doubts and not be content with cheap platitudes of faith.
If you find yourself outside of the Church, wondering where you fit in, please hear me: God is not bound within the walls of a building, or tied to three simple steps to salvation. God is the beautiful Creator who thought up this entire creation. God desires life and joy and healing for you. God is at work in our world all the time! Our hope is that you experience these truths. Whether you find yourself in a church community or not, God can be found--and God is for you.