Have you ever found yourself somewhere and wondered “how exactly did I get here?” Whether that’s arriving at a destination and thinking “whoa I totally zoned out while driving”, or a life-stage, where you sit back and think “whoa…I can’t believe I’m a ______ (fill in the blank: parent, home owner, teenager….)

My fill in the blank was “pastor”.  

I find myself today, as a lead pastor at a multi-site church, teaching and leading on a regular basis. And this is very much a “how did I get here?” moment (Have I mentioned I’m a woman?)  

I vividly remember being a teen, at the church I grew up in, having a conversation with my friends about women in the church. We were a part of a traditional, complementarian church with male-only leadership. I clearly remember saying in this conversation “I think women are supposed to help lead in the church….I like, can’t explain why, I just think that’s what God wants. BUT, they probably shouldn’t be like, the LEAD pastor of a church.” (Although the 15 year old version of me would have used MANY more “likes” than I quoted just now.) 

Cue 24 years later…and here I am, a lead pastor. And in between that conversation and where I am now, there was much learning, growing and many attempts to reconcile the gifts I really believed God had given me, with what I thought was true of what I interpreted in the Bible and of the church.  

Now, I must acknowledge that I have been privileged to have mentors and pastors invest in me and give me opportunities (even as young as 15!) to lead and preach. This was a gift. It gave me the space to really hold the posture of “I don’t really know WHY, but I think this is what God wants me to do, so I will keep pursuing it, until I’m told not to.” 

Eventually, God led me to work in a church for 7 years as a youth pastor. Except I couldn’t be a pastor. I had to be a director. And I was entirely ok with that. I was just so humbled to be given space to work in ministry that it didn’t matter too much what they called me. I hadn’t yet come to any answers around the passages in scripture that seemed to clearly lay out why women couldn’t be pastors or teachers, and for the time being, it seemed easier to simply enjoy these work-arounds that I was being given than to wrestle with it. 

But as I grew, so did my dissonance around not holding the title of pastor. I started to question if I was doing a disservice to the girls in my youth group by modelling that I was ok with being called something different than the man who had come before me in the role. I was becoming increasingly unsatisfied with my own answers to the passages in scripture and the teachings I’d been taught that said I couldn’t, or shouldn’t pastor and teach (1 Tim 2:11-12 being the primary one). 

And so I sat with the scripture that was causing my “yeah….but what about this?” doubts, and through honest conversations, deep study, and prayer, feel like I now have more to my answer of why I’m a pastor. Yes, it’s because God had gifted and called me (and ultimately, I submit to him, and where he leads me…even if it’s 7 years in a church that couldn’t affirm me as a pastor), but it’s ALSO because when I truly looked at scripture through the lens of what God intended since the beginning of creation, I see a full picture of an equal kingdom. (More on that in last week’s blog post.) 

And so while there are a number of “but what about this?” passages around women in leadership, allow me to share (very briefly) my deeper understanding of 1 Tim 2:11-12, and then end with a broader overview of the biblical narrative, which has God’s fingerprints and intention for equality all over it. 

*This is in NO way a deep dive. There are a wealth of resources to help support your study and learning of this and other passages that are perhaps giving you pause. Here is a good place to start.* 

1 Tim 2:11-12 - A woman should learn in quietness and full submission. I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet.  

If we look at this passage as a stand-alone – it seems so very clear doesn’t it? But with this (and all!) scripture, it is SO important to understand who Paul is talking to and why he’s saying this to them. This is a specific instruction, to a specific church that is struggling with being tempted by false teaching. And while it is likely that the false teachers were men, much of the spreading of the false teaching was through women in the congregation. Most women in the Ephesian church would have had limited biblical training and, thus would have been more drawn in by false teachings.  

This instruction is to address a specific problem, not to establish a permanent restriction on all women for all time.  

And that word authority can be a sticky one can’t it? When we look at the original word used, (authentein), it isn’t the verb typically used when referring to authority in the church. It actually only shows up once in scripture, compared to a much more common word (exousia) that appears in many of Paul’s letters. It is likely that Paul was objecting to something other than the actual use of authority in the church.  

To hold a contextual view of this passage changes the perspective around the instructions Paul was giving, and helped me to see more clearly how this passage has been mis-interpreted in the church.  

Finally, I can’t help but just to look at the beautiful model of relationship that God has given us. After the fall broke the perfect relationship humans had with God, He, in His accommodation of man established a covenant with them. (That’s just a fancy way to say commitment, or promise) 

In the Old Testament, we see a covenant that included circumcision (Genesis 17:11, Joshua 5:2-8) as the way to enter into this relationship, making it a very patriarchal covenant.  (That was undoubtedly for all of God’s people, but led by, and symbolized with men) 

And then came Jesus. Who, as we are reminded in Hebrews 8:13, brought in the NEW covenant, making the old obsolete. And what is the symbol of the new covenant? Matthew 28:19-20 lays it out for us. 

“Therefore go, and make disciples of all nations. Circumcisi……oh wait…that’s not it. Baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.”  

Baptism. The New Covenant symbol of relationship with God is for ALL people, and brings about the restoration of how God always intended it to be. Fully equal, and all people embracing, understanding and living out their God given gifts. 

So, that’s how I got here.  Where are you? What gifts in yourself or the women around you can you recognize as God given? Can you see how since the beginning of creation God intended for both men and women to fully live out those gifts from him? 

For the Biographically Curious

Hello! I’m Karmyn.  I happen to be related to the co-founders of this blog, and it was always a source of pride that I was 2 whole months older than Tyler. 

I am married to Ben and we have three kids: Elliana (9), Ezekiel (7) and Silas (4).  It still amazes me that I get to parent these three kids and form a family with Ben, and together the 5 of us (mostly) have a lot of fun together.  Now that the kids are all old enough to count, playing games has been a huge part of the post-dinner/pre-bedtime zone.  We play outside together a lot and we’ve learned that if we call it a “walk”, our kids will actually hike for a very long distances without complaining, or realizing they have been enjoying nature for a long time. 

I work as a Lead Pastor for The Meeting House church in Ontario, Canada.  And my favourite parts of working in ministry are building teams, teaching and helping people see more of who God made them to be.  (I’m convinced that distortions in our identity cause us a lot of problems in this world!) 

When I’m not parenting or pastoring, I enjoy playing ultimate frisbee, solo hikes, a good book and a coffee shop, and a good gut busting laugh (the sources of said laugh will vary, but often, it’s thanks to endless memes on Instagram).