When my whole family gets together, we inevitably end up talking about what bizarre pieces of wisdom I handed down to my younger siblings when we were little.  I have no memory of believing that you could be sucked down the drain in the bathtub--but my sister has assured me that I warned her of that.  My dad once told me not to mow the grass when it was wet, so I naturally assumed that was because the mower could explode.  (it was only after marrying my husband that I realized it just doesn’t cut the grass well…)  As an elementary teacher, I still live in that world: first graders are shocked to see a teacher at the grocery store, “Don’t you live at school?”  Children’s brains are perfectly developed to take in what they see/hear/feel and then make bold conclusions based on that.  Thankfully, as our frontal lobe develops, along with the rest of our brain--we are able to check back in with those conclusions and refine them as needed.  “Oh, I guess I won’t be sucked down the drain if I sit in here while the tub empties!” 

Childhood misconceptions or early beliefs can be comical and amusing to look back at for years to come.  But sometimes we carry with us into adulthood pictures of God that we formed as children and those aren’t always so amusing.  Sometimes, they can be downright destructive.  It’s important to recognize those ideas--because the way we picture God will influence every area of our lives. Sometimes these ideas are explicitly taught-”You are a horrible person”, “God is watching everything you do!”, or “God will never be pleased with you.”  What a terrifying and oppressive God to live with!   Often these are conclusions we make as children (even if our parents and loved ones are teaching us about a good God)--and then never check back on. It’s no wonder we either: 1) live in fear, using religion as a weapon on ourselves and those we love, or 2) decide the pressure is too much and walk away from God and Christianity.  

I want to offer a third option:  let’s reconsider who God is.  Is it possible that we have been wrong about God?  That the childhood beliefs and views we have held are underdeveloped?  Years ago, while driving home, I was talking to my mom on the phone.  I was worried and stressing about something (I don’t remember what) but she cut straight to the chase and said, “Kendall--God isn’t petty”.  Those three words have stuck with me for fifteen years.  They challenged some beliefs that I had held on to since childhood and caused me to reconsider who God is in light of them.  For years--those words were a sort of measuring stick against which I could renew my understanding of God.  More recently, I use the phrase by Dallas Willard, “Never believe anything bad about God.”  Renewing our mind is part of being a mature adult, as well as a mature Christian.  You don’t earn heavenly brownie points by never asking the question, “Is this actually true of God?”  God is so big and good that He can handle our wonderings and questions.  In fact, I believe He welcomes them.  Like a child trying to understand more deeply, checking back on our conceptions about God allows us to re-picture Him in ways that are more deeply true:  as a loving parent (and parents know how much we love our kids!), as a companion in our suffering (rather than the cause of our suffering), the beautiful Creator of all we see, and the Spirit who moves and works around us to help us to see God more clearly.  If you’ve left church or Christianity or have deeply painful experiences relating to God, I’d encourage you to reconsider who He is.  After all, you may find your childhood image just wasn’t fully developed.